Sugarlaws: Living Sweetly.

Entries Tagged as 'baby'

baby bear: at five months

October 17th, 2014 · 3 Comments


Baby Bear,

The strangest thing happened this month. 

No, life didn’t calm down.  You went straight from your four-month sleep regression into back-to-back colds, ear infections, and then a stomach bug.  In the last few weeks, you have been sick more days than you have been healthy. 

Which meant: less sleep, more tears, and lots of hand-wringing for mom.  When something is bothering you, nothing is more important to me than to fix it, any way I can.

But, you know what? 

Sometimes I can’t.

Sometimes you have to do it on your own.  Obviously, I’ll do anything I can to help — whether it’s rocking you to sleep, taking you to the doctor, or just making sure you’re comfortable. 

But fighting off that cold?  Or learning that new skill, the one that’s keeping you up at night because your little brain has almost mastered it?

Those things, you have to do on your own.

And no matter how much I want to help… there are times when I can’t.  And I need to remember that’s not the end of the world.


See, in the midst of this crazy month, I had a realization. 

For the last five months, I’ve been waiting for that moment in the future when things would get easier.  And each time something gets in the way, I get frustrated: “He’d be sleeping through the night if only he didn’t have a cold” or “he’d be happy during the day if only we hadn’t gone straight into teething.”

And you know what?  I’ve spent too much time waiting for that moment in the future when everything would be perfect.  When you’d be smiling and perfectly healthy and I’d have nothing to worry about.

When that happens, I figured, then I could just relax.

But you know what?

In being so focused on the future, I’ve been letting myself lose track of all the wonderful moments that I get to see every single day

Even when you’re sick.  Even when you’re up all night.

It makes me a little sad.  Especially in those frantic newborn days, now I see so clearly: I worried too much.  I was so scared of doing something wrong, of not knowing what I was doing, I made myself miserable trying to figure out how to do everything right.  I googled everything for hours instead of just trusting my instincts and doing my best. 

I didn’t spend enough time just taking in the moments, enjoying them.  They went by as quickly as everyone says, and I wish I’d cherished them just a little bit more. 

But, you know what?  You’re only five months old.  There’s a lot of time left to enjoy those little moments, even the not-perfect ones. 

And even with my nervousness, my first-time-mom jitters, and all the things that I’ve worried about: these last few months have been lovely.  They’ve been amazing.  Sure, we’ve had a day here and there with tears from you and me both, but we’ve also read stories, gone for walks, snuggled in bed, played with the dogs, and smiled and laughed. 

We’ve had a blast, you and me (and dad). 

Five months.  It went by in a flash.  And I know month six will be our best yet.

With all my love,

Your mom.


Tags: baby

to each their own

October 6th, 2014 · 3 Comments


It’s happened ever since we were first dating: when Chad and I go somewhere, sometimes if you look at our outfits, it looks like we are headed to two completely separate events.  I’ll be in a sequin cocktail dress and he’ll be in a polo shirt; he’ll be in a suit and I’ll be in leggings; you get the drill.  I should dig up some old photos — sometimes it’s actually pretty funny.

But this weekend, we took it to a new level.

This photo was taken at 10:45 a.m. on a Saturday morning.  We were heading to the one-year-old birthday party for one of Bear’s friends.

As you can see, we all had slightly different ideas of what would be appropriate to wear. 

Chad?  Basically dressed for work.

Me?  A child’s birthday party called for hot pink jeans, gold lame wedges (I kid you not; they’re just not in the frame), and a smokey eye.  Yup.  I went there.

And our son?

Our son is wearing a superman costume.

I love this photo.  I begged Chad to pause for a second as we headed out the door, just do document our outfit choices.  They were that amazing.

This family, man.  You can’t take us anywhere.




Tags: baby · life

band-aids that make mom proud

September 29th, 2014 · 9 Comments


Do you see that band-aid?

It’s not often that a mom is excited to see a band-aid on her baby.  In fact, I’d venture to say that it’s exactly *never* that a mom greets a sight like this with a smile.

With one exception.

When those band-aids are there after your baby’s four-month vaccines.

See, here’s the thing.  If you look at Facebook or sometimes even the news, you might think that there’s actually some medical controversy over whether or not you should vaccinate your kids.


Let’s be clear: Vaccines save lives.  We are very, very lucky to be living in a country and at a time when vaccines against deadly diseases are safe, effective and readily available.  Children all over the world do not have that luxury. 

And yet, parents — a terrifying number of parents — choose not to offer their children this life-saving protection, because of misguided fears that ignore science in lieu of groundless speculation.  The article that originally claimed to link vaccines and autism has now been universally discredited and withdrawn by the journal that published it.  No medical data has ever supported any link between vaccines and autism. 

And yet somehow this unfounded “controversy” lingers.  And it is putting kids at risk.

As parenting goes, you will almost never hear a whiff of judgment from me.  Breastfeed or bottle-feed?  Both are great.  Stay home or keep working?  Up to you, mama.  Daycare or a nanny?  Either one!  Night-wake till they’re two?  More power to you.  Cry it out?  You gotta do what you gotta do.

Not one of those decisions is life-or-death for your baby.  They are all choices that can be made in different ways by reasonable, caring parents.

Vaccinating your child?

That is different. 

That is life or death – and not just for your child, but for every other child they interact with.

That is a life or death decision you are making for my child.

See, vaccines aren’t 100% effective.  They require multiple rounds before a child reaches immunity, and individual kids may have different immune responses in a particular case, even if the vaccine itself is effective 99% of the time.  The reason we don’t see these illnesses anymore, even though the vaccines aren’t perfect, is because of herd immunity — because all kids get the vaccines, even if your kid isn’t perfectly immune, it’s very unlikely for him or her to be exposed to the actual disease.

But when parents stop vaccinating their kids?  Their kids are at risk, obviously.  But so is every single other child, whether it’s a newborn who hasn’t had any shots or a five-year-old with a severe allergic reaction that prevented his own vaccination.

Deciding not to vaccinate your children is not just stupid.  Sure, it’s stupid. 

But it’s also profoundly selfish. 

Those kids are depending on you.  My kid is depending on you.

So, please.  Please.  Please.  Inform yourselves.  Learn the science.  There is not, and has never been, any scientific evidence of a causal relationship between vaccines and autismVaccines save lives every single day, and as a parent, I am thrilled and grateful to be able to provide them for my child.

So those band-aids?

Yes, they make me smile. 

Tags: baby