Sugarlaws: Living Sweetly.

Entries Tagged as 'life'

happy first birthday, baby bear!

April 20th, 2015 · No Comments

BDay

Dear Baby Bear,

This weekend, we celebrated your first birthday.

I know. I can’t believe it either.

How is it possible that you’re a year old already? It feels like moments ago when I was was nine months pregnant and couldn’t wait for you to arrive, so nervous and scared and naive about the year we were about to be thrown into.

And now you’re a year old. You’re not an infant anymore, and you’re hardly a baby. You’re just on the border of toddlerhood, the same person you’ve always been, and different every day. It’s been a year of watching you grow and change in so many ways, with me just trying to just hold on and keep up.

The night of your birthday party, we sat in your rocking chair before bed, like we always do. And for a moment, I thought about those early days, when you were too tiny to even hold your head up and all you wanted was to snuggle and feel safe and warm in my arms. And I hugged you closer, because you’re so much bigger now but you’re still that same baby to me. You always will be.

This year has been so incredibly wonderful And it’s also been so incredibly hard. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering if having a baby was hard or wonderful, like it had to be one or the other. But it’s always been both. Every single day, it’s been both at the exact same time. It was the toughest year I’ve ever had. And it was also the best year of my life.

There were nights holding you in my arms when I wanted to just stop time forever, to pause that moment and spend eternity there. The joy of watching you grow up is impossible to even describe, and even now, after a year, it all felt like it went by too fast. Some days felt like they’d never end, but this year passed in the blink of an eye.

More than anything, though, I’m so grateful that you’re part of our family. Your entry in our lives was like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and the best way I can explain it is this: The love that I have for you is so immense that it’s made me love everything in the world a little bit more. You opened up my heart in a completely new way, and I will forever be grateful for it.

At your party, some of my friends with older kids told me that a baby’s first birthday is for the parents to celebrate making it through the first year. And we did. We made it, and we celebrated.

It was the toughest year.

It was the best year.

Happy birthday, Baby Bear. We love you so much.

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Tags: baby · life

this weekend

March 8th, 2015 · No Comments

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This weekend, we did something a little new.

One of our babysitters plays on the Rice Women’s Basketball team, and this weekend, she invited us to come out and see them play!  So on Saturday, we bundled up the stroller and headed over to the Rice Stadium (which, conveniently, is basically across the street from our house). And Bear got to experience his first basketball game!

As he’s gotten a little bit older and more interested in the world, we really can’t keep him cooped up at home on the weekends anymore.  His nursery is fine for naps and our playroom is fun for a few hours, but if we don’t get out of the house at least once for a few hours, this little kiddo is not a happy camper.  So the idea of a fun outing in the afternoon?  Yes please. 

And we had a blast!  I’m not sure he knew exactly what was happening, but he sat in our laps and watched the game every once in a while, and the people and noises kept him happily occupied for two hours. So in my book, that is a WIN.

This type of outing is what I was most looking forward to when I thought, years ago, about having kids.  Little family outings to the zoo or the museum or the park or the playground, the ones that I did with my parents that they still tell stories about.  (Please, do not get my mom started about feeding the ducks.  Apparently I was, like, super into feeding the ducks and have consequently heard that story oh, maybe five trillion times.) I’d think about my future life and those future outings, and even though I had no idea what my family would look like or where we’d be living, I’d still imagine those little moments.

And, then, on Saturday, I blinked and suddenly one of those moments was here, right in front of me.  The imaginary moment I’d always thought about, taking my child on family outings and coming up with fun activities to share with him. 

And, you know what I did, when I realized that moment was happening?

I just smiled at our son and made a mental note of how incredibly grateful I am for this life.

In the last ten months, there were days (and nights) with a newborn that felt like they would never end.  There were weeks and months when juggling work and motherhood feels like more than I can possibly do.  There were moments when I was certain that I’ll never have time for a manicure, a full night of sleep, or a minute to myself until this kid leaves for college.  (A small part of me is still convinced that this is a possibility.) Those were hard moments.

But there are also moments like this weekend, when I come up for air and look around and think:

oh, wow. 

This moment that I always dreamed of. 

It’s happening right here in front of me.

So, baby Bear, I hope you enjoyed your first basketball game. 

Your mom sure did.

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Tags: baby · life

the night i got left alone with ALL THE COOKIES

February 5th, 2015 · 2 Comments

So, long story short, but during this very busy stretch for me, Chad has been a real trouper.  I could give you a list of all the wonderful things he’s done to keep me sane these last few months, but so I can get to the point of my story, I’ll just say: there have been a lot

So many, in fact, that I asked Chad if there was anything he wanted that I could do for him in return.

“Yes,” he said solemnly, like he’d been thinking about it for a while.

“Ok… what?”

“Snickerdoodles.”

My husband’s love for snickerdoodles has been documented epically on this blog — I have two separate recipes in the archives, and if you want to take a trip down memory lane, you can see this version from 2007. (Ha, the terrible PHOTO.  Aww, Chad was my BOYFRIEND at the time — we weren’t even engaged when I started this blog!)

So, I happily made a very large batch of snickerdoodles for him. 

But then, silly guy, do you know what he did?

He left me alone with them! 

He went out for a few hours and left me in the house with a sleeping baby all by myself, and ALL THE COOKIES.

See that?  That is one happy mama.

Fortunately, I limited myself to just a few of them.  And then, with nothing else to do and an entire evening by myself, I brewed some tea and curled up on the couch to watch Parks and Rec. 

And basically, it was the best night ever.

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Tags: life