The other night, as I was getting in bed, I was complaining about some little annoying pregnancy-related issue — the fact that I can’t take full breaths anymore, or my fleeting but excruciating back pain, or one of the other many symptoms that have made me a little bit whiny for the last few weeks.
And Chad looked over at me and goes: “You know… you won’t be pregnant forever, and then you’ll have the rest of your life to not feel like this. Why not enjoy the last few days of this pregnancy while you can?”
I kind of looked at him, dumbstruck. Because, fair enough: During all the wonderful moments of the last nine months, I’ve talked a lot about how grateful I am for this experience. Like almost everyone I know, I’ve always been nervous about whether I’d be able to have children, and I can barely describe the incredible joy and relief I felt when I got that positive pregnancy test.
But as the months went by… I started taking it for granted. I started focusing more on “when he gets here” and less on “right now.”
Some of that is smart — there comes a point in pregnancy where you can stop learning about all the Pregnancy Rules (whether a sip of wine is ok, whether you can eat cheese or spinach or take this or that type of medicine) and start learning about How To Take Care Of A Baby. But as my focus moved away from pregnancy and toward the actual baby, I started getting more and more frustrated with how much longer I had to be pregnant before getting the baby.
Which has basically been the last month. I started saying “any day now” at about 37 weeks, when these photos were taken. Now it’s almost two weeks later, and “any day now” has turned into “NOW, JUST NOW, OK?”
But Chad makes a good point. I don’t know if I have hours left to be pregnant, or days, or weeks… but I do know that I’m incredibly lucky to have gotten this far, that I’m grateful for that (even when I forget to acknowledge it), and that despite the heartburn and the insomnia and the crazy food rules, there will come a day when I miss these last few days of our pre-baby life.
So, for however long it lasts, I’m going to try to enjoy it.
How far along? 37 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 26 pounds
Maternity clothes? Jeans and leggings and some dresses.
Stretch marks? No!
Symptoms: Back pain, insomnia, heartburn — those are the big ones. Oh, and I literally pee every 20 minutes.
Sleep: I get up to pee probably 10 times every night. Sigh!
Best moment this week: Starting to feel contractions!
Worst moment of the week: Feeling like every week is just endless. The last month of pregnancy feels like it takes a year!
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Being skinny.
Movement: Still quite a bit, but it’s funny how easily I tune it out now!
Food cravings: Cake! Doh.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not eating — when my stomach is empty, it tends to bring on some nausea.
Have you started to show yet: I am huge!
Labor Signs: I have a few contractions most nights, but they’re not regular or frequent, so nothing to indicate real labor yet.
Belly Button in or out? I think it’s officially out at this point!
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: A little of both…
Looking forward to: Getting to see this little baby who’s been kicking me in the ribs for the last 30 weeks or so!
From Instagram: This is why you don’t let a pregnant lady go grocery shopping without a list…
So, here’s how I feel about pregnancy cravings, or basically any craving:
When you’re talking about an actual craving, whether it’s for mangoes or broccoli or cheeseburgers or birthday cake, that is your body and brain, together, deciding that you need to consume that item right now.
And when that happens, I listen up. I go out to the store and grab a green apple or a cake pop and happily consume it, enjoy it, and then let the craving pass.
Here’s what I do not do: when the craving is something unhealthy, I don’t eat a bunch of other semi-unhealthy things to try to make it go away. If I want cake, I eat cake. I don’t eat four bowls of low-fat ice cream thinking that what I really want is sugar.
For the last couple of decades, that method has served me pretty darn well.
And then the last month of pregnancy came along. And I don’t just “want cake” anymore.
I want it. Every. Single. Day.
Sometimes while I’m eating cake, I actually want more cake.
I blame Chad’s birthday for this, in part: last month, like every year, I bought him a giant supermarket birthday cake, with yellow cake and white icing, which we proceeded to eat over the course of a week or so.
And when we finished it, he was pretty much satisfied.
I was not.
So, after a few weeks of trying to satisfy this craving with cake pops from Starbucks and mini cupcakes from a bakery in our neighborhood… I gave in.
I went to the grocery store and bought a whole birthday cake.
This, I figured, will do it. If my body isn’t satisfied after a second birthday cake, this baby is just a complete glutton.
So I took it home, showed it to Chad (thrilled! best wife ever! birthday cake for no reason!), and we cut into it…
And I watch as his smile morphs into a horrified expression…
I hadn’t read the stupid label!
Sure, I’ll eat it anyways. But the score remains: Craving, 1. Katy, 0.
Let’s hope this baby stays inside long enough for next week’s grocery run!
I’ve gotten a bunch of questions about whether I’m doing a maternity photoshoot, and the answer is, most likely, unless anything changes in the next few days: No, I’m not.
I flirted with the idea of one around the time that we were planning my baby shower — I actually reached out to a photographer to see if we could do a maternity shoot and cover the shower on the same day, but, unfortunately, they were out of town that weekend, and after that the idea just kind of fell off my radar.
I’m fine with this decision, and truly don’t think I’ll regret it later. (I mean, let’s face it: it’s not like I’m exactly lacking photos of myself.) On the other hand, I’m glad that I’ve gotten “bump” photos along with my typical outfit photos for the past few months — it’s been so fun to compare how my body has changed week-to-week, and it’s really added to my excitement as the weeks have gone on.
I took these shots a few weeks ago, during a particularly beautiful Texas sunset. It was one of those fleeting moments that I almost missed — it was the end of an extremely busy day, and I was tired and ready to get home, put on pajamas, and do absolutely nothing for several hours before falling asleep.
But I decided to stay in my heels a little longer, and capture this pretty sunset as best I could. The light was gone minutes after I clicked the first shot, but I’m so happy with how they turned out.
So if this is my version of “maternity portraits”? Well, that works for me.
Modcloth dress, Necklaces: Free People (similar), Ann Taylor (similar), Canvas by Land’s End, Taryn Reed bracelet, Marshalls heels (similar here).