You know what would be really effective birth control?
If, rather than making them tote around eggs or dolls, you took a group of high school students and made them read fifty posts on an internet forum for parents of newborns.
Because, oh. my. gosh. Having an infant sounds terrifying.
Obviously, I know that new parents don't get any sleep. And I know that babies are incredibly demanding. But reading posts about people who can't make it through the day without crying a dozen times, or whose nipples are bleeding from trying to breastfeed?
Let's just say, it's a good thing I didn't discover these message boards a year ago.
Since it's most likely too late for me to give this kiddo back, I've got to just figure that the human race has made it this far, so probably I'll manage to 1) keep this baby alive and 2) not go completely bonkers in the process. But... yikes.
Pair that with my jitters about labor and general hormone overload, and this week was, quite honestly, a little rough. I'm incredibly nervous about what it's going to be like to take care of an infant, and those seven million or so people who've told me it's the hardest thing they've ever done are not really helping. (Honestly, I would add that to the list of Things Not To Say To a Pregnant Woman, but that's just me.)
At the same time, there's nothing I want more than to be doing it! I can't wait to finally see our son, face to face, and start getting to know this incredibly special person who will change my life in so many ways. Even if that means no sleep for the next few months, postpartum crying fits, and all the host of bodily functions that I will, for both your sakes and mine, refrain from discussing any further.
I'm trying to just enjoy these last few days of peace and quiet, but it's hard when there's this huge, scary, exciting, all-consuming change hanging over us every day! I know I'll look back on this post and be grateful for the few extra days of sleep and quiet that we sneaked in at the buzzer... but it's hard to remember when all I can think about is how much I want this baby to arrive!
How far along? 38 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 27 pounds
Maternity clothes? Basically everything I'm wearing lately is either maternity or really baggy.
Stretch marks? Still no! Home stretch!
Symptoms: Back pain has been brutal this week, and I also get these weird hip spasms. Pregnancy is a blast!
Sleep: Insomnia + baby sleeping on your bladder = not much!
Best moment this week: My wonderful husband talking me down from a baby-anxiety-induced freakout.
Worst moment of the week: Getting panicked every time I think about having a newborn, how much work it's going to be, and how you can never really be prepared for it.
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Having a functioning body that isn't in pain all the time...
Movement: Still some, mostly where his feet are!
Food cravings: Honestly, food has kind of lots its appeal this week. Maybe it was the entire chocolate cake I consumed that did it, but I'm sort of over sweets at this point.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope, thankfully!
Have you started to show yet: I am enormous.
Labor Signs: LOTS. I have Braxton Hicks contractions almost every day, but they aren't getting stronger or closer together, so it's still a waiting game.
Belly Button in or out? Out?
Wedding rings on or off? On, but much tighter this week.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Honestly, this was a moody week.
Looking forward to: Getting this show on the road! However it goes, I'll be happy to have labor be over with and meet our little guy for the first time.