expectations and realities

June 4th, 2014


I have to tell you a little story about that jar of Vaseline.

It arrived a few weeks before Bear was born, from their lovely PR team.  I looked at it and thought, cool, a bedazzled Vaseline jar — just what his nursery needs!  (Proof on Instagram here!)

Then I looked online, just out of curiosity.  How much might a bedazzled jar of Vaseline cost?

The answer?

Five hundred dollars.  (Seriously.)

Basically, Bear had just been given Kim Kardashian’s Vaseline jar.  It’s a treasure.  That jar of Vaseline is literally more expensive than any single item in his nursery.  Forget the designer bedding, the crib, the rug, the Tiffany piggy bank.  The most valuable item our son owns is now a jar of Vaseline.

No problem, right?  How hard can it be to take care of a jar of Vaseline? 

Ha ha.  That was my pre-newborn self talking.

Because… you want to know what happened to that five hundred dollar jar of Vaseline in the first week that he was home from the hospital?



Yup, because, see, Bear hates having his diaper changed.  He hates it so much that, periodically, I pause mid-diaper change to remind him, “I am not actually murdering you, dude.  Please calm down.” 

He hates it so much that he basically loses control of his limbs, sending everything near him crashing to the ground.

Including, sadly, his most valuable possession.

So, that top photo?  That was my expectation of what a newborn would be like: all sweet little toes and chubby legs. 

The next one?  That’s the newborn that I wasn’t quite expecting, the one that cries over nothing and pukes directly into my hair seven times a day.  (The one that peed on me twice yesterday, sigh.)

The last five weeks have been a crazy, wild ride, and there are literally thousands of things that I wasn’t expecting that have totally blown me away.  No matter how prepared I was (and I was!), the reality of having a real, live baby in our house is completely different from my expectation of it.  Sometimes it’s wonderful and sometimes, many times, it’s truly a challenge. 

But before he arrived, I had no idea the depth of the love that I would feel for him, how strongly I felt it at first and how much stronger it grows every day.  And I would take the reality of our crying, flailing baby (even puking in my hair) over all the perfect imaginary babies out there. 

And who knows?  Maybe in a few weeks, that jar of Vaseline will go on sale and we can replace it.

Tags: baby · life

10 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Kay // Jun 4, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    A $500 jar of Vaseline should be able to withstand nuclear war.  That’s some shoddy craftsmanship right there.

  • 2 Kasey // Jun 4, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    My daughter is now one and a half and STILL hates getting her diaper changed! I am always trying to remind her that I’m not trying to kill her 🙂

  • 3 Sarah // Jun 4, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    Ha! This was a sweet, hysterical post. RIP bedazzled Vaseline…

  • 4 Stacy Dill // Jun 5, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    I see a cottage industry here…hmmm

  • 5 Sarah // Jun 6, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    I know you might not have the time to respond (or even read this) but I want to say your posts on being a new mom have been so encouraging.  My husband are getting to the point where we want a baby.  We’ve been married for 6 years and though I know it’s going to be a HUGE adjustment for us (one we’re still really not quite ready for), I think it’s time.  And your posts show me that there’s life after baby.  I know it’s radically different (and that’s okay) but part of our hesitation has always been that we’ve been used to “our” time and once a baby comes, we won’t really have that luxury as much.  Your posts have been so helpful in showing the changes and I’m thankful you’ve talked about your experiences as well.  Anyway, all that to say, I loved your blog before when it was primarly fashion and I love it even more now that it’s a mix of fashion and new motherhood.  Keep up the great work.

  • 6 katy // Jun 7, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Hey Sarah — thank you so much for this sweet comment!  It is definitely different, but mostly in wonderful ways!  🙂

    On the “us” time thing — one thing we’ve been doing is putting Bear to bed around 8 so that Chad and I can have some alone time in the evenings — for the first few weeks, we kept him with us all the time because we were so nervous, but now it’s actually nice to put him in the nursery and just keep an eye on him with the monitor for a few hours.  It really makes it feel like our pre-baby life hasn’t totally gone out the window.  So I definitely recommend that!

  • 7 Sweet // Jun 10, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    Maybe this is something for you 🙂 http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/

    You have to try it to really get to know, to feel that it works.
    I had many doubts about Diaper Free myself but i gave it a try and now it makes so much difference.

  • 8 Sweet // Jun 10, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    When I read about your problems, the really hard time with the baby, one book came into my mind “The Continuum Concept” by Liedloff. Even if you may be skeptic about it, it’s worth it to give it a try. Its about the instinctive natural way to take care of babies.

  • 9 Ailee // Jun 12, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    After you posted the picture on Instagram, I was like – I need that. Cue me Googling the product and my jaw dropping at the price tag. Insane! Also, as you predicted, I won’t make it to the rS event – newborn + mastitis = staying at home for me. Have fun though!!

  • 10 ThaNhor // Dec 4, 2015 at 11:11 am

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