one month old

Baby Bear:

Today you are one month old. You started as a cone-headed, purple-faced newborn -- I loved you from the first second, no matter how much you screamed at me (which you did -- a lot). Then slowly, over the past few weeks, you've started to change -- first there were brief moments where you seemed to notice I was there (hooray!), then you started reaching for my face, now you're grabbing my hair, following me with your eyes, and beginning to truly interact with the world.

Last night, at about 4 a.m. when I was changing your diaper, you looked up at me and within moments, a big smile spread across your face. A moment later, you closed your eyes and fell back asleep.

I'd like to think this was because you recognized me, because you knew that you were safe and sound and taken care of. I'd like to think that you've had a pretty happy first month of life, with mostly lots of food and snuggling and without too many tears.

You are sweet and curious and so very alert -- you love moving and watching things and taking in all the new sights and sounds you can experience. I can only imagine all the things you'll love learning about when you're a little older, and I'm so excited to help you discover them.

This past month has been, quite honestly, one of the happiest of my life. Sure, I am completely exhausted, but I would not trade a second of this experience for all the uninterrupted sleep in the world. When you were first born, I'd jolt awake any time you made a sound -- not because I was worried (at least, not entirely) but because I was so darn excited to see your face again.

And so is everyone else -- from your grandparents to our friends to the nurses in the hospital, you've charmed everyone you've met. (This grocery story clerk excepted.)

One of the most exciting things about this month has been to watch Chad become a dad -- they say that women become moms when they get pregnant, but men don't become dads until the baby is born. I'm not sure if that's true, but it's been amazing to watch him care for you -- especially in those early days, he regularly knew what to do better than I did. A few days ago, he was coming home from a work trip and didn't arrive until after you were already in bed. When we saw on the baby monitor that your eyes were open, he was upstairs in an instant, singing you a song and rocking you back to sleep. You're already our little buddy, and neither of us wants to miss out on a chance to hang out.

You have brought nothing but joy to our family in these few short weeks, and I know there is so much more to come. Sometimes I find myself getting so excited to see you grow up, and other times I just want to stop you exactly the way you are and never change a bit. But since I can't do either, I'll settle for this: savoring every day, and all the ways you're growing and becoming your own person.

You are so very wonderful, and I'm so happy that you're here.

With so much love,

Your mom.