our calvin

September 2nd, 2014

5-20

I’m sitting here trying to write the words, and I just can’t make them come. 

As many of you know, our beloved dog Calvin has been sick for quite some time.  Last fall, he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, a condition that we knew would eventually be fatal.  We kept him alive for almost a year with medication and very careful care, but ultimately, his sweet little body just couldn’t go on. 

He’s been with us since he was a puppy, for almost nine years.  Through law school, jobs, three apartments in Manhattan and two homes in Texas.  He held on long enough to meet our child, thankfully — I spent many nights while I was pregnant wondering if Calvin would get to meet the baby, and I’m so happy that they could spend even a few months together.

I know that time will heal this void that he left behind, but the Calvin-shaped hole in my heart is gaping and raw right now.  Even with two dogs and a baby, our house feels empty without him.

I am trying to be grateful for the many wonderful years that he spent with us — right now, my mind can’t get past this overwhelming grief, but I know that in time, I’ll be able to remember our wonderful, loyal, playful, kind, sweet little guy with love and peace and gratitude.  I wish I could come up with words to do justice to his memory, but I can’t. 

He was the most wonderful creature I’ve ever known, and I will miss him every day, for the rest of my life. 

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Tags: life

18 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Liz S. // Sep 2, 2014 at 4:38 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. I’m devastated for your loss 🙁

  • 2 Meg // Sep 2, 2014 at 6:17 am

    I’m so sorry, Katie. Losing your sweet dog is one of the most painful things there is. Wishing you peace.

  • 3 Jamie // Sep 2, 2014 at 8:26 am

    I have been reading your blog for a long time (I too lived in NYC and moved away this past year to Nashville). We lost our dear Grizzley at 9.5 years old this past June. The pain I felt (feel) was like nothing else. He was my baby and even though he had been sick (GOLPP) I didn’t want to think of a time without him. He lasted just long enough to meet the new puppy we adopted and then he said it was time to go. I miss him every day. Seeing pictures of him still makes me tear up. Not sure it ever gets easier but we do go on. Hug your other pup a lot and of course your dear baby. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • 4 Troye // Sep 2, 2014 at 8:31 am

    Awe, such a very sad day and yes time will heal and the other sweet puppies will be there to bring love and joy…if you have not read “The Art of Racing in the Rain” you should the sweetest novel from a dogs perspective about humans, the timing would be perfect!

  • 5 Taylor // Sep 2, 2014 at 9:04 am

    I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet Calvin. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts.

  • 6 CM // Sep 2, 2014 at 9:56 am

    I am SO sorry, I know exactly how you feel…we just lost our cat last month, after 16 years, and she was sick the last 5, so like with you and Calvin, we knew it was coming eventually, but it doesn’t make the pain any less. Time will heal wounds, sneak in some extra snuggles with the baby, the hubby, and the other pups this week <3

  • 7 Stacy Dill // Sep 2, 2014 at 10:04 am

    So sorry for the loss of your little guy. They really are sweet members of the family. The pictures are adorable. He was loved!

  • 8 I Showed Up In Boots // Sep 2, 2014 at 10:22 am

    Such a sweet post, Katy. There is something about a dog´s unconditional love that is so special.

    Stephanie
    http://ishowedupinboots.com

  • 9 Vanessa // Sep 2, 2014 at 10:52 am

    terrible, terrible news, Katy.  I’m so sorry 🙁

  • 10 Samantha // Sep 2, 2014 at 11:22 am

    I am so sorry for your loss :(. I teared up a little going through your pictures with him. I saw a beautiful quote this past week- “He might only be here for part of your life, but for him, you are his whole life” <3

  • 11 Michelle Rittler | Taste As You Go // Sep 2, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    I’m so, so sorry, Katy. You clearly have many wonderful memories with Calvin, and I’m sure, in time, they’ll help you through this really difficult time. Thinking of you! XO

  • 12 Cassie // Sep 2, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    I am so sorry Katy.  It’s not easy losing a member of you family and it can take awhile to heal.  Take your time to process your loss. Sending healing hugs your way.

  • 13 Rosa // Sep 2, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    I am sorry for your loss. He was loved and left memories that are part of your life. Thinking of you…

  • 14 Leslie // Sep 2, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    Aww, so very sorry for you heartbreak.?

  • 15 Leslie // Sep 2, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    Aww, so very sorry for you heartbreak.?

  • 16 Wendy Sundman // Sep 2, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    I am so terribly sorry for your loss.  My 6-year-old 6-pound Yorkie Romeo is the son I never had.  I feel your pain and I pray the pain will get better!

  • 17 Rochelle // Sep 2, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    My heart is breaking along with yours.  May each day be less painful, and may you soon remember Calvin’s memories with a smile instead of a tear.

  • 18 Joni // Sep 3, 2014 at 10:33 am

    I’ve fallen in love with Calvin! What a sweetie. Puppies, kitties, even silly ol’ lizards just tear our hearts when they leave us. I’ve lost 2 of my pugs in the last couple of years and tho I have a new pug family, I still miss sweet Ruth and Molly. Take care…

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