our calvin

I'm sitting here trying to write the words, and I just can't make them come.

As many of you know, our beloved dog Calvin has been sick for quite some time. Last fall, he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, a condition that we knew would eventually be fatal. We kept him alive for almost a year with medication and very careful care, but ultimately, his sweet little body just couldn't go on.

He's been with us since he was a puppy, for almost nine years. Through law school, jobs, three apartments in Manhattan and two homes in Texas. He held on long enough to meet our child, thankfully -- I spent many nights while I was pregnant wondering if Calvin would get to meet the baby, and I'm so happy that they could spend even a few months together.

I know that time will heal this void that he left behind, but the Calvin-shaped hole in my heart is gaping and raw right now. Even with two dogs and a baby, our house feels empty without him.

I am trying to be grateful for the many wonderful years that he spent with us -- right now, my mind can't get past this overwhelming grief, but I know that in time, I'll be able to remember our wonderful, loyal, playful, kind, sweet little guy with love and peace and gratitude. I wish I could come up with words to do justice to his memory, but I can't.

He was the most wonderful creature I've ever known, and I will miss him every day, for the rest of my life.